Random Thoughts – Team Pagel

I Had an Epiphany

Remember at the start of 2023 and I wrote this post about how this was going to be a stress free space for me to use as a therapy of sorts. I was going to let this be a tension reliever and only write about what I wanted to, when I wanted to. And now it’s almost June and I haven’t wrote anything?

Life has been a lot. And then life gets to be a lot more. And then a lot more. Life has a way of saying, “oh yeah? you think that’s bad? How about this?!”

(Inserting here that I know I’m blessed. I know I have all the things to be grateful for, and I am. But with our basic needs being met, we have a whole other level of time and energy that can go towards contemplating what we want out of life.)

I’m going to put it out there to the three people that read this, my marriage hasn’t been great for 4 years or more. That doesn’t mean I don’t love him. It doesn’t mean we don’t have some really great times. And it doesn’t mean that we’re getting divorced. It just means that people change, needs change, boundaries need to be changed. And those changes are hard and uncomfortable sometimes.

Someone told me at a bridal shower to not do something once that you don’t want to do for the rest of your life. But you’re young and in love and you want to do all the things. A decade later, I don’t want to do all the things anymore. I can do them, I just don’t want to. But how does one go about setting boundaries when you’re already doing and expected to be doing all the things?

Here’s the epiphany if you’re still hanging on for it…nobody has it figured out.

The more people I talk to, the more life I live, the longer I’m married, the more I figure out that nobody has it figured out. We’re all just out here winging it, trying to make it work. I know we all know that, but we forget that even though it’s a perfect IG feed, it doesn’t mean their life is perfect. It doesn’t mean that they are happy.

So there you have it…the epiphany that everybody already knows. But a reminder to myself that the perfect life doesn’t exist. Today I’m resolving again to do the things that make me happy. I’m resolving to sit by the fire table this summer and write on this blog and read my cookbooks and cook delicious food and make more cows my pets that will eat out of my hand. And go to my nieces and nephews activities and do yoga on the deck. And pet Poncho. And be happy. Because life is going to be over pretty dang fast and what will I have done?

2023-The Start of Not Giving a Damn

When I started this page, the intention was to make at least a little bit of money by blogging. I hired a coach, I worked hard on SEO, I tried taking quality photos (this is so hard for me, I’m not a photo person and hate spending extra time framing and getting the light right), I posted consistently, I tried making sure I did all the things so the google would like my posts. And I got burnt out because I was doing all the things I didn’t like to do.

Writing is my therapy. I’m sure I can make money with this, but I’m done trying. This blog is simply going to be one of my outlets, a way to release some stress. I do freelance writing for several clients and get paid from those. (Shameless plug – always interested in talking to potential new clients to see if we could work well together. If you have any friends in the publication world, I’d love to be connected). With that said, I’ve decided that just because I don’t get paid to do it, doesn’t make it worthless.

Time is such a precious commodity for all of us. I’m not holding myself to a schedule. I’m not promising to deliver google pleasing content. I’m promising myself that this page will be stress free. I’m not worrying about making it “pretty”. I’m simply going to write what is on my heart.

I love all of you that support me and appreciate you telling me what you enjoy about my writing (words of affirmation love language girl here!), but I’m not going to let the number of readers dictate what, when and why I post. Read it, don’t read it. Share it, don’t share it. I’ll love you either way.

For now, that’s all. Simply to say, I’m not giving a damn about the things that I don’t give a damn about. Happy 2023. I close most of the Grass and Grain columns I write with grace and patience. May we give grace and patience in all situations. And when we don’t, try the next time. Sayonara for now and grace and patience!

How to Make Hard Decisions in 5 steps

Think back to the last time you had to make a really hard decision. What did you do? How did you handle it? What questions did you ask? How did you know it was the right decision? Did you know it was the right decision or did you just roll with it?

This life is full of hard decisions that we’re forced to make. Sometimes, they end up being made for you. Sometimes, you have to make the decision. Sometimes they are spur of the moment, sometimes you have time to deliberate.

This past week we were faced with a REALLY hard decision. One that we had to make together, one we both have to live with. I’m not going to tell you what the choice was, but it was hard. I don’t know how it’s going to turn out. I know that having the question, was a struggle.

On a day to day basis, I make a lot of spur of the moments decisions – feed the cows here or there, feed them 2 bales or 3 bales, move to another pasture, leave where they are, run the dishwasher or not, workout or no, get fuel in the truck the fuel gauge doesn’t work in or chance it to the next time. You make a million little decisions every single day. Sometimes they’re right, sometimes you’re calling your person and telling them you ran out of fuel.

We’re so used to making decisions, but then the hard questions come up. The ones that will alter your life course. The ones that you can’t make by yourself, they affect way more than you. The ones that you struggle with. The ones that you don’t know which way to go.

How do you make those decisions?

First of all, I’m no expert. These are the things I consider when I make hard decisions: (They are all pinned to the back of my desk so I see them every time I sit down at my computer)

“Life is too short to do shit you hate” spoken by Gary Vaynerchuk. For real though! If this decision isn’t moving you towards your goals and dreams, why are you even considering it?
This too shall pass while often linked to the bible, this isn’t a specific verse. My mom is fond of saying this. I’m the queen of making a mountain out of a molehill. Like the queen. My mom is amazing at listening, justifying and then putting it into perspective. The decisions we’re making often seem so large and life changing, and while they certainly could be, the enormity of it will pass. The shock will wear off and it will become part of your daily existence or it will just be something in the past you said no to.
“You can do it all, but you can’t do it all at once.” by Jennifer Osterholt. This comment was made on a call that I was on once. I honestly don’t know if it’s her original comment or if she borrowed from someone else, but it clicked with me then and it clicked with me now in the hard decision making process. So many of us think that we have to do it all (and we can!) just not at one time. When making decisions, we have to decide if it’s something we can add to our plates and what can be deleted completely off to make room. Who is going to be needed to help with this decision?
“The next something will make me happy.” Rachel Hollis. This is the first lie in her book “Girl, Wash Your Face”. It’s easy when faced with a decision to think that it will be the thing that makes you happy. And maybe it will make you overjoyed, but we have to be happy with where we are. My cross country coach always said, “You can be happy, but never satisfied with where you are. When you are satisfied, you quit trying.”
“You are loved. You are worthy. You are enough.” Me. Like the bottom of our home page says and how we end every blog post. You don’t have to be somebody else to be loved, worthy or enough. You are those things right now. Never let anybody tell you differently.

As you contemplate really hard choices, I hope you glance through these 5 things. I hope they spark some clarity on the right choice. I know for me, just writing these have given me a peace about my decision. What do you do for a hard decision? What are the steps you take to get through it?

If you enjoyed reading this, we would love it if you would hit the share button and introduce us to your friends. You all are the reason we get to do this and we’re so appreciative of that! Please help us continue serving people by sharing us with your family and friends! Leave us a comment and let us know how this has impacted your life. It’s the little things that make me so happy to continue doing this, such as a like, comment or share! Have you subscribed to the page so new blogs will arrive in your email automatically? Go to our homepage to do so! Please and thank you! And remember: You are loved, you are worthy and you are enough!

~Matt & Kelsey

WHAT BRINGS YOU JOY?

I was listening to a podcast the other day that asked this question. It took me back for a second. What makes you happy? What makes you smile? If you were given a few months to live, what would you spend it doing? Can you answer it?

We’re so focused on doing for others, doing our jobs and living life that sometimes we forget about the things that make us smile, that fills our souls.

I compiled a list of the things that makes me happy. I hope you will do the same in your life. Take my list and amend it to fit your needs.

My Forever
Family & Friends
Texas Roadhouse Rolls
Brownies & Cheesecake
Poncho
Sunrises & Sunsets
Brand new baby calves
Writing
Music-specifically my playlist
Rainy Days
Vacations
Boating
Watching Matt snow ski
Auto Steer
Clean Bed
Indoor plants
My green/purple phone case

Whenever you’re having a crummy day, have a list like this you can refer to. Some of the things on my list take a bit to orchestrate, but some of them I can have immediately. We are so blessed. If you’re reading this, you’re blessed and loved. Make a list if you have trouble remembering. It’s okay to forget for a minute and get bogged down in life’s cruminess, but have a list to be able to pull yourself back out of it.

~Matt & Kelsey

TWO TRICKS THAT WILL CHANGE THE WAY YOU CLEAN!

I hate cleaning. Like hate. I’m terrible at keeping up. Our house has a magnet that attracts dirt, mud, grime and all the yucky things. Does yours? But I also don’t love the commercial cleaners because I haven’t found one that works super well for me.

Now, I use easy, homemade things mostly that get the job done. Think things your grandma would have used.

FRUIT/VEGETABLE WASH

Do you just use water? “They”, whoever they are, say that there is a waxy coat on most of the fruit and vegetables that we need to get off. I have no idea if this is true or not. However, I do think our fruits and vegetables last longer when I was them in this cleaner.

I mix one part vinegar to one part water. Put it in a spray bottle and have ready. I use this on all our fruits and veggies. I put everything in strainers and spray generously, leave sit for 5 ish minutes (or 20 when I forget), then thoroughly rinse. Then I prepare them so whatever it is, is ready to eat. Tops off strawberries, bite size pieces, etc.

HOUSE CLEANER

The only thing I use on any surface (besides wood and floors) is vinegar and dawn dish soap. It works SO much better for bathroom scum, cleaning countertops, the stovetops, etc. than anything I have found. The secret though is heating the vinegar first. I know it’s weird, but for real do it! Try it! You’ll be convinced. Heat the vinegar for roughly 30 seconds then mix with a few tablespoons of Dawn dish soap. Then spray it on whatever surface, let is sit for a bit, then scrub it off. Seriously, it works!

What are your cleaning hacks?

~Matt & Kelsey

LABOR DAY-HISTORY

Who doesn’t love a day off? But what is Labor Day?

WHEN IS LABOR DAY?

Labor Day is the always the first Monday in September.

HISTORY OF LABOR DAY LEGISLATION

In 1885 & 1886 municipalities passed legislation. Then states started passing bills. Finally, June 28, 1894 Congress passed an act and the first Monday in September became Labor Day.

WHAT IS LABOR DAY?

Labor Day is a day to celebrate American workers in all their social and economical achievements.

This information came from https://www.dol.gov/general/laborday/history. In summary this came from that website, “The vital force of labor added materially to the highest standard of living and the greatest production the world has ever known and has brought us closer to the realization of our traditional ideals of economic and political democracy. It is appropriate, therefore, that the nation pays tribute on Labor Day to the creator of so much of the nation’s strength, freedom, and leadership – the American worker.”

Enjoy your day off. Thank you for what you do for this country!

~Matt & Kelsey

One Way to Make Sure Your July Is Not Normal

Do you ever feel less than? Like you’re not enough? All the effort you’re making isn’t moving the needle? You’re on a hamster wheel just spinning, spinning, spinning, not going anywhere and not having fun on it?

As we begin the month of July, we have an opportunity to change. Maybe the only thing that needs to change is your mental self-talk. Don’t change everything at one time. Pick one thing. Do it for the month of July.

For the next 31 days, I’m committing to doing 5-10 minutes of “quiet time”. My sister gave me a book and journal that I’m going to commit to going through.

Summer is an extremely busy time for us. With the long daylight hours, we’re working all those extra hours and I’m rarely in the house. It’s not uncommon for us to leave before 7 and not get home before 10. The limited time I have in our house goes to things like laundry, dishes, bill paying, etc. But in July, I’m going to make it a priority to complete a day in this devotional.

That’s all. That’s all I’m going to change in my schedule. What are you going to change to give you more peace in your life?

~Matt & Kelsey

Life Lessons Learned from my MIL, Margaret

Throughout the month of May, we’ve been talking about the strong women that have shaped me into the person I am today. Margaret is definitely one of those people. We just had a post for Margaret’s birthday a few months ago about her so I thought I would change it up a bit and write a post about the life lessons learned from Margaret.

Life Lessons Learned from Margaret, in no particular order of importance:

Always ask what you can do for others, and when you’re the one needing help, it will be there tenfold.
A meal is perfect family bonding time. The TV should be turned off.
When you feed someone a meal, they’re more willing to do your to do list for you.
Work hard, but enjoy your time off.
Take joy in the little things
Care about others: take them food for monumental occasions, ask what they need done, simply call or text.
Be willing to learn and to teach what you know. Share knowledge and skills.
Smile. Ask how they are doing. Be a person you want to be around.
Pie solves a lot of problems.

Y’all I have the best mother-in-law. The absolute best. I love her so much! Margaret is an amazing person and I’m so blessed to call her my second mom. Life is short. Bad days happen on the farm, but Margaret makes them so much better. If we would all try to be more like Margaret, this world would be a better place.

~Matt & Kelsey

Memorial Day

I want to take a moment and remember what Memorial Day is and why we celebrate.

Memorial Day History:

Memorial Day was started after the Civil War and only became an official federal holiday in 1971. It was originally known as Decoration Day. To begin with only the soldiers from the Civil War were remembered. When we became embroiled in World War 1 and so many lives were lost there, decoration day expanded to include all soldiers who had died in wars.

Memorial Day Traditions:

Like so many of you probably did, we enjoyed the weekend with friends and family with a barbecue. Many towns have parades and celebration parties. While the holiday began to remember the soldiers lost in war, it has expanded to include remembering all those who have gone before us. We visit graves and place flowers, flags and other tokens to acknowledge the loss of a significant person, celebrate their lives and remember fond memories.

Memorial Day versus Veterans Day:

What’s the difference between Memorial Day and Veterans Day? Memorial Day is to remember those that have gone on before us. Veterans Day is a day where we thank the veterans still with us for their bravery, honor and courage. We thank them for giving what they have/are giving so that we can have everything we have. While it’s never inappropriate to thank someone for serving their country, Memorial Day is to remember those not with us.

Memorial Day is also the unofficially launching of summer. As we start the craziness that is summer break, I hope you had an amazing weekend and had some rest, relaxation and time to honor those that have passed. I’m not a history person, but do think it’s important to remember and recognize why we have the holidays we have. What did you do for the three day weekend?

~Matt & Kelsey

My Grandma

Throughout the month of May, we’ve been celebrating the strong women in our lives. This week, we get to introduce you to my Grandma. She was quite a bit different from the “regular” grandma, but this woman was the most amazing ever.

My grandma was 79 before I was born. So we didn’t grow up with the typical active Grandma. However, I wouldn’t change her for the world. Both grandpas had passed on before we were born-so Grandma was the one we went to. I can remember having sleep overs at Grandma’s and being excited about sleeping in since she didn’t get up very early when I knew her. When we got up she would fix pancakes or oatmeal for us. For lunch she would make us mac & cheese. To this day I haven’t tasted any as good as hers. I don’t know what the secret ingredient was, but she added something.

Ever since I can remember we (everyone in the family, approximately 20) got a quilt every year for Christmas. She would always have embroidery or quilting in her hands. When she got older, I can remember her reading more. Always quilting or a book around. Grandma lived in her own home until the first part of June. Kayla & Garett moved in after they were married to help cook and clean. Grandma didn’t eat well and was getting weaker so she went to the hospital with full intentions of going back home. I spent most of the nights with her and the moments we had I will cherish forever. When fluid started building in her lungs and around her heart and it was clear she wasn’t going to make it, the decision was made to take her to Mom’s and give her the best care we could (with Holton Community Hospice help-they are amazing!) and love on her until she went to be with her God. And that’s what we did.

Grandma I will miss your ornery grins, your kisses, your quilts and knowing I can always go to Grandma’s. Your independence, stubborness and strength will live on in your children and families. You were such a strong woman to live 102 years, go through what you’ve gone through and emerge on the other side as the happy and loving person you are.

Grandma liked being home. She didn’t really like going anywhere. Whenever we would get her to go someplace and ask if she was ready to go home, she would reply, “anytime.” Well, Grandma your anytime has arrived. We will miss you down here, but you’re free. I hope your anytime is everything you deserve and more. If I need a chat, I know you’ll be listening. Grandma I love you more than words can describe. Until we meet again Grandma-you enjoy your anytime.

~Matt & Kelsey