Remember at the start of 2023 and I wrote this post about how this was going to be a stress free space for me to use as a therapy of sorts. I was going to let this be a tension reliever and only write about what I wanted to, when I wanted to. And now it’s almost June and I haven’t wrote anything?
Life has been a lot. And then life gets to be a lot more. And then a lot more. Life has a way of saying, “oh yeah? you think that’s bad? How about this?!”
(Inserting here that I know I’m blessed. I know I have all the things to be grateful for, and I am. But with our basic needs being met, we have a whole other level of time and energy that can go towards contemplating what we want out of life.)
I’m going to put it out there to the three people that read this, my marriage hasn’t been great for 4 years or more. That doesn’t mean I don’t love him. It doesn’t mean we don’t have some really great times. And it doesn’t mean that we’re getting divorced. It just means that people change, needs change, boundaries need to be changed. And those changes are hard and uncomfortable sometimes.
Someone told me at a bridal shower to not do something once that you don’t want to do for the rest of your life. But you’re young and in love and you want to do all the things. A decade later, I don’t want to do all the things anymore. I can do them, I just don’t want to. But how does one go about setting boundaries when you’re already doing and expected to be doing all the things?
Here’s the epiphany if you’re still hanging on for it…nobody has it figured out.
The more people I talk to, the more life I live, the longer I’m married, the more I figure out that nobody has it figured out. We’re all just out here winging it, trying to make it work. I know we all know that, but we forget that even though it’s a perfect IG feed, it doesn’t mean their life is perfect. It doesn’t mean that they are happy.
So there you have it…the epiphany that everybody already knows. But a reminder to myself that the perfect life doesn’t exist. Today I’m resolving again to do the things that make me happy. I’m resolving to sit by the fire table this summer and write on this blog and read my cookbooks and cook delicious food and make more cows my pets that will eat out of my hand. And go to my nieces and nephews activities and do yoga on the deck. And pet Poncho. And be happy. Because life is going to be over pretty dang fast and what will I have done?
You nailed it..have missed your blogs. ..you are going with the flow.
Thanks for putting in writing what most of us have felt. Blessings