My Forever and I went to the same small, rural school. He’s two years older than me. He was in my sister’s class. We didn’t start dating until I was in college, though. We started dating in December of my freshman year of college, but broke up a few months later because I didn’t want to be in a committed relationship and just want to have fun in college.
The thing is, he never quit doing all the dating things. I was very clear that I didn’t want to be in a committed relationship. He wore me down. However, I never agreed to date him after we broke up the first time. We did all the dating things, but weren’t dating.
He proposed 2.5 years later. We got married 5 months later at the wedding of my dreams. Everything was perfect.
It was important to me to wait until our wedding night to have sex for the first time. He was nothing but a gentleman while not dating and our engagement. He never pressured me into doing more than I wanted to. I was so nervous about our wedding night. What if I did sex wrong? What if I didn’t like it? What if he didn’t want to be married to me after having sex with me?
Of course, all nonsense. Ladies, find a man that will take care of you. In the moments where I question whether he cares about me at all, if I can logically go back to our wedding night and every time since, I know that’s not true. He is the best! He takes care of me. He thinks I can do everything on the farm and pushes me so hard there, but is the sweetest loving me.
If you are being abused, get out. There is no reason to accept abuse. It is NOT your fault and very rarely ever changes.
With that said, we decided early on that divorce was not an option for us. We have committed to working through our stuff and coming out on the other side better. It’s not easy. But, goodness, it is SO worth it.
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