Think back to the last time you had to make a really hard decision. What did you do? How did you handle it? What questions did you ask? How did you know it was the right decision? Did you know it was the right decision or did you just roll with it?
This life is full of hard decisions that we’re forced to make. Sometimes, they end up being made for you. Sometimes, you have to make the decision. Sometimes they are spur of the moment, sometimes you have time to deliberate.
This past week we were faced with a REALLY hard decision. One that we had to make together, one we both have to live with. I’m not going to tell you what the choice was, but it was hard. I don’t know how it’s going to turn out. I know that having the question, was a struggle.
On a day to day basis, I make a lot of spur of the moments decisions – feed the cows here or there, feed them 2 bales or 3 bales, move to another pasture, leave where they are, run the dishwasher or not, workout or no, get fuel in the truck the fuel gauge doesn’t work in or chance it to the next time. You make a million little decisions every single day. Sometimes they’re right, sometimes you’re calling your person and telling them you ran out of fuel.
We’re so used to making decisions, but then the hard questions come up. The ones that will alter your life course. The ones that you can’t make by yourself, they affect way more than you. The ones that you struggle with. The ones that you don’t know which way to go.
How do you make those decisions?
First of all, I’m no expert. These are the things I consider when I make hard decisions: (They are all pinned to the back of my desk so I see them every time I sit down at my computer)
- “Life is too short to do shit you hate” spoken by Gary Vaynerchuk. For real though! If this decision isn’t moving you towards your goals and dreams, why are you even considering it?
- This too shall pass while often linked to the bible, this isn’t a specific verse. My mom is fond of saying this. I’m the queen of making a mountain out of a molehill. Like the queen. My mom is amazing at listening, justifying and then putting it into perspective. The decisions we’re making often seem so large and life changing, and while they certainly could be, the enormity of it will pass. The shock will wear off and it will become part of your daily existence or it will just be something in the past you said no to.
- “You can do it all, but you can’t do it all at once.” by Jennifer Osterholt. This comment was made on a call that I was on once. I honestly don’t know if it’s her original comment or if she borrowed from someone else, but it clicked with me then and it clicked with me now in the hard decision making process. So many of us think that we have to do it all (and we can!) just not at one time. When making decisions, we have to decide if it’s something we can add to our plates and what can be deleted completely off to make room. Who is going to be needed to help with this decision?
- “The next something will make me happy.” Rachel Hollis. This is the first lie in her book “Girl, Wash Your Face”. It’s easy when faced with a decision to think that it will be the thing that makes you happy. And maybe it will make you overjoyed, but we have to be happy with where we are. My cross country coach always said, “You can be happy, but never satisfied with where you are. When you are satisfied, you quit trying.”
- “You are loved. You are worthy. You are enough.” Me. Like the bottom of our home page says and how we end every blog post. You don’t have to be somebody else to be loved, worthy or enough. You are those things right now. Never let anybody tell you differently.
As you contemplate really hard choices, I hope you glance through these 5 things. I hope they spark some clarity on the right choice. I know for me, just writing these have given me a peace about my decision. What do you do for a hard decision? What are the steps you take to get through it?
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~Matt & Kelsey