The next three tips to a thriving marriage:
Last week we talked about the first three tips to making your marriage better (no public shaming, choose your fights and physical touch. Go read it here.
These three tips are all about self reflection so that we can be the best for our spouses.
#1: Alone time
I am the queen of interrupting alone time. Matt is the king at allowing too much alone time. Somewhere we need to meet in the middle. Alone time is SO freaking important. We need time alone with our own thoughts in order to thrive. It’s really hard to transition from working together on the farm and Matt being more of a “boss” to being at home where we are partners. Farming is extra hard to leave work at work. Matt needs some space and time to simply do nothing when he gets home. Honestly, I think he scrolls through facebook and craigslist. It’s “his” time to get his mind away from the farm and into husband space. So often I interrupt this time and get a distracted husband the rest of the night. If I simply let him have his time, it works out better for both of us.
Have a conversation with your spouse and ask what they need in order to be present when they get home. Maybe it’s parking down the street for 10-15 minutes so when you pull in the driveway, you are ready to be family oriented.
Whatever you do, don’t abuse this time. Set a timer on your phone and stick to it. When your time is up, be ready to be present.
#2: Friend Time
Surround yourself with friends that value marriage. Friends that when things are going really crappy in your marriage and you want to do nothing but complain about your husband, your friends are going to be the one that says no. They support you, but support marriage too. It’s not a husband or wife bashing party when you get together. They are there to support you in the good times and bad.
#3: What do you need more of?
What refreshes you? What do you need from your spouse in order to have more of that? For me, I love writing. Matt is super supportive of my taking Sundays mostly off to write and schedule posts for the blog. Writing makes me relax, makes me happy. What makes you feel that way? Have you asked your spouse to help make that happen more often for you? Turnaround is fair game? What does your spouse need? How can you help? We are all so busy doing everything. What needs cut out so that we can do more that refreshes you? Make the hard choices and I promise you will feel better.
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