We grow up on fairy tales. Princess finds Prince, go through problems, but ultimately end up living happily ever after-coasting through life with very few cares.
I’ve got my Prince found, we’ve gone through problems, but still haven’t found the coasting point where we live happily ever after with no more problems.
Girls dream of their wedding day since they are very young. Wearing the beautiful white dress, walking down the aisle with all their friends and family looking on, the flowers, the cake, the first dance, we dream of it all. Weddings should be the first day of the rest of your life. We dream so much about the wedding, we often don’t realize the work that marriages take. We think after the wedding that life will be perfect. Then the first fight happens and we can’t believe what is happening.
There are 7-9 billion people on this planet. I’m not one (and My Forever is quite aware of this) that believe there is one person for everyone and we all have our one true soul mate in life. Seriously, 9 BILLION people. By the time I got married I had maybe met .00001% to .000001% (I really did the math) of these 9 billion people. I was 21 years old when I got married. 21 folks. I didn’t have a freaking clue about life, let alone picking a soul mate out of 9 billion people.
BUT, I do believe in my commitment. My number one priority in life is my marriage. I believe marriage is less about finding your soul mate and more about committing to the person you chose and going through hell, high water and drought (drought might be worse than high water for farmers) with that person. I am a very firm believer it’s less about finding ‘the one’ and more about working with the ‘someone’ you chose.
Divorce isn’t an option in our marriage. My Forever’s vows are pinned to my desk so every time I sit at my desk, they are right there. Our life is less about being perfect and more about working through our shit. We have problems, ya’ll. Shocking! We work together, in a very high stress, multi-generational family operation, daily! We have problems coming out our ears. But, we have both agreed that divorce is not an option. We will work through it, together…forever.
Now don’t get me wrong, if you’re in an abusive situation—get out now! I am not speaking to those that are in dangerous and harmful situations. You know who you are and you need to get out and get help if you are in that situation.
Mondays will be dedicated to marriages. If you aren’t married, I do think you will still find value in #MarriageMondayTPstyle. We will be doing a series of pieces dedicated to the top reasons for divorce in America and how to combat it. I believe in practical approaches and doable skills to implement right away. If you’re on year 1 or year 80, we have to continually fight to have a great relationship so we don’t wake up next to a stranger one day in our future.
Some topics that will be covered in the coming weeks: sex, money, communication, date nights, infidelity,etc. Marriage is incredibly hard work, but it’s all worth it! With these posts I hope to give inspiration and hope that marriages can be great and get better with time!