When was the last time you did something that your spouse truly enjoys. Not something that you both enjoy, but something he/she enjoys while you aren’t super in to it. For us, that activity is skiing. Matt absolutely loves snow skiing. He took it as a class in college (twice). He’s the only college graduate in America that didn’t have to take public speaking, but took skiing two semesters. Insert eye roll here. His advisor obviously liked him lots and got him out of public speaking.
Anyway, so over Christmas we went skiing as a family with his side. This was the second time that I had gone skiing with him. Can I be honest? I dreaded it. I didn’t enjoy the first time. I fell a lot. He got mad at me because I wasn’t an expert like him and slowed him down. He wanted to do the big slopes and I couldn’t master the baby slopes.
One of the biggest joys in my life is seeing my husband in pure, unfiltered joy. There’s a couple things that induce this: skiing, farming with new toys and sex.
I encourage you as we kick off this new decade to do the thing that you avoid doing because you don’t love it as much as your spouse. Surprise them! And have a good attitude about it. I still don’t love skiing like he does, but I improved. I didn’t fall nearly as much. I tackled the bigger side of the mountain (or the hills that Atchison offers). It’s so worth it to step outside of our comfort zones, to see them shine. For a reward, he took me to Taco Bell. (I’m a real high maintenance wife! $2.14 is what is takes for me to be insanely happy).
Sometimes it’s okay to not be good at something. Sometimes it’s okay to just be present. Sometimes it’s okay to just simply show up. Go do that thing with them that they love. You won’t regret it. Unless you break your ankle. Then you might. But try avoiding that.
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~Matt & Kelsey