Last week one of our core values was date nights. I say ‘our’ a little lightly. Date nights mean so much to me. We get away from the farm once a year for vacation. Date nights are the things that keep me going in the hard times. These five steps will get you to the perfect date night experience and skip the fighting over where you’re going to eat or what you’re going to do.
- Plan your date out. Are you going out or staying in? If going out, know exactly where you’re going, book the reservation, babysitter and have a plan. If you’re staying in, are you getting delivery, cooking dinner yourself (plan out your meal and go to grocery store if you are), watching a movie after dinner? Whatever it is, plan it out! Don’t ask your spouse what he/she wants to do. If you’re going to the trouble of planning a date, I’m going to assume that you’re taking your partners feelings into perspective.
- Ask your partner out. Yes, just like you’re in high school or college and going on your first date. While on vacation, I asked Matt to go on a date with me. It doesn’t have to be the man asking the woman. Ladies, ask your man out. Make him feel desired.
- Get ready. Do you remember getting ready for your first dates with your partner? The effort you went to. The thought you put into what you were going to wear both on the outside and underneath your clothes, the time for hair and makeup, cleaning your vehicle out, buying flowers, etc. Do those things again. These things are not just for first dates. Do them anytime you go on a date!
- Have sex. Yep. I said that. We’re about 30-45 minutes from the town that we go to on dates. We work long hours. I’m tired y’all. By the time we go eat supper and do some activity whether that’s a movie or mini-golf or simply some shopping, I’m ready to go to sleep on the drive home. Date nights=sex in our marriage most of the time. Don’t ruin an otherwise perfect date night by being too tired at the end of the night. Make sex a priority and do it before going out. But watch out ladies, make sure you do still go out after he’s pleasantly satiated and he wants to sit in his recliner!
- Enjoy. Go on your date. Talk about things other than the kids or work. Dream together. Laugh together. Do all the things and enjoy being married and having somebody to go out with.
Date nights are pure hell for Matt. He hates planning, he hates leaving the farm. He’s finally understanding how important they are to me after 6 years of marriage. To make things less stressful for both of us and preventing date nights to turning into fights, we have a lot of in home dinner dates. Our meals are cheaper, more delicious and healthy. We can still dress up, but can kick our shoes (and more) off for the movie portion of the night. When we do go out, we go to the same restaurant, order the same thing. We don’t like trying new places. We like the same place. We don’t argue about it. We know where we’re going and what we’re going to do and it’s amazing. With so much chaos in our lives, having a date night that is the same is perfection to us.
The joy of marriage is that you are in yours and I’m in mine. Because something works for us, doesn’t mean it will for you. If you like trying new places, do it. If you don’t, then don’t. The important thing is to continue going on date night. Don’t forget the special event a date night is.
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