#1: Positive Self Talk
Ladies, when was the last time you looked in the mirror and the negative self talk kicked in? My stomach isn’t flat, my boobs sag, my thighs are too thick, etc.
My Forever is the king of taking my pajamas out of the bathroom while I’m showering and replacing it with his favorite lingerie. I swear he’s part Indian. He can do it without me hearing. I’ve even locked the door!
The last thing I want after looking in the mirror is to put on basically non-existent scraps of material that isn’t going to cover any of my imperfections. Most of the time I do it anyway. When I step out of our bathroom, I guarantee he’s not thinking about the imperfections I just saw.
Ladies, when your man asks (or implies by stealing your PJ’s) that he wants to see you in some lingerie, DO IT! Then go one step further and put it on without him asking. Your man isn’t seeing the imperfections you see. Your man is seeing the love of his life that is wearing his favorite lingerie. Your man is anticipating the action he is about to get. Don’t take that away from either of you by thinking or saying anything negative about your body.
#2: Light a Candle/Set the Mood
I’ve talked before about setting up a schedule for sex. Break up the week so each of you have a few days for initiating. Understand how many times per week you anticipate having sex. Make sure it’s not the same person doing all the initiating.
Accidentally, I have trained my body to “be in the mood” when I smell a certain scent. When we got married, we received a candle for a present. It ended up in the bedroom and that is the scent I now associate with sex. I love candles for love making and My Forever knows that. He could not care less about a whether there’s a candle burning or whether the overhead light is on. He, however, knows that I care very much. It’s all about the little things that skip the argument and get directly to the fun stuff.
#3: Talk about Sex
It’s hard to improve on something when you have no idea what your partner did and didn’t like. Friends, we need to quit being so shy about talking sex with our spouses. Tell them what you like. Reinforce the good things. If you’re going to outright say you didn’t like something, do it nicely. Don’t kill their self-esteem.
#4: Try Something New
Try a new position. Try having sex in a new room. Try a different time of day. Try new things. What happens in your sex life is between you and your partner. Some grow up thinking having sex or doing new things is cause for a removal of your “good girl” card. It’s not true. Sex is a beautiful thing. Marriage doesn’t mean losing your sex life. Your sex life should increase in quality the longer you are married.
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