Category: Marriage

Have you ever referred to your husband as your child? Y’all I’m far from perfect in our marriage, but this is something I DO NOT do. Ever. Period. Never. Ever.

My husband is not a child and neither is yours.

My Forever is the man that guides our lives. My Forever is the one that leaves his socks all over the house. My Forever is the one that runs a multi-million dollar farming operation. My Forever is the one that can fix a six figure piece of equipment on the farm, but struggles to find the dishwasher. My Forever can be asleep in 2.3 seconds of his head hitting the pillow. My Forever is the love of my life.

My Forever is and does a lot, but never will I refer to him as a child. And you shouldn’t either.

A quick google search showed that only 1 in 3 people are happy. 33%.

We, or I guess I should say I, want my husband to be happy. I want him to love me. I want him to praise me. I want him to want me. I want him to give me his opinions. I want him to share with me what’s stressing him out.

But why would he want to share the deepest parts of him when I publicly or privately call him a child. How do we expect our men to be strong leaders when we’re constantly calling them children?

Now, I know that when most women do this, they are going for a laugh. Insinuating that her husband is as helpless as a child. Insinuating that her husband is incapable of taking care of himself. Haha. He’s just another for me to take care of.

I’m the first to say I love taking care of my man. I love being able to fix him a nice din din. I love making sure he has his favorite lumberjack shirt washed in the winter. But this is not because he’s a child. This is because he spoils me and I like to spoil him by filling his love tank the way he needs it filled.

What really gets me is when people do this in front of their young children. Impressionable children. They learn that their mom doesn’t respect their father, he’s just another child, so why should they?

Quit it. Quit calling your husband a child, in jest or not. Quit it! Quit it! Quit it! It’s not okay for anybody. Your husband isn’t going to be the man you’re looking for when you keep cutting him down. Your husband isn’t going to rise to the occasion when you are giving him nothing to reach for. Wives, moms, sisters, females…this is not okay for anybody. Quit doing it!

If you enjoyed reading this, we would love it if you would hit the share button and introduce us to your friends. You all are the reason we get to do this and we’re so appreciative of that! Please help us continue serving people by sharing us with your family and friends! Leave us a comment and let us know how this has impacted your life. It’s the little things that make me so happy to continue doing this, such as a like, comment or share! Have you subscribed to the page so new blogs will arrive in your email automatically? Go to our homepage to do so! Please and thank you! 

~Matt & Kelsey

We are almost wrapping up the first month of 2020. We are 1/12 done with the new year. Are you still on track with your resolutions or have you given up?

The joy of life is that you can start over at any point. Don’t have the all or nothing mindset. Do your best and give yourself grace.

I wanted to spend this week reflecting on how we did with our resolutions for the first month. Go check out the original post for all the details on our marriage goals.

So far we are winning! We went on our date night out when we went to the Farm Show. We have dinner dates in/movie nights weekly. Vacation will be later in the year.

With the new year, all of the go getters were telling you to go do all the things and accomplish everything. Go, go, go and go. Matt shared a meme with me the other day that said, “All the dead bodies on Mount Everest were once extremely motivated people, so maybe calm down a little”. It was perfect timing for all the New Year hype of go accomplish a million spectacular things and be the most amazing human ever.

Our three marriage goals for 2020 are super simple, but if we do them, our marriage will be better. I’m all about building habits that can be accomplished. Ones that don’t stress you out. What are your marriage goals for 2020? Have you stayed on track? If not, jump back in.

If you enjoyed reading this, we would love it if you would hit the share button and introduce us to your friends. You all are the reason we get to do this and we’re so appreciative of that! Please help us continue serving people by sharing us with your family and friends! Leave us a comment and let us know how this has impacted your life. It’s the little things that make me so happy to continue doing this, such as a like, comment or share! Have you subscribed to the page so new blogs will arrive in your email automatically? Go to our homepage to do so! Please and thank you! 

~Matt & Kelsey

When was the last time you did something that your spouse truly enjoys. Not something that you both enjoy, but something he/she enjoys while you aren’t super in to it. For us, that activity is skiing. Matt absolutely loves snow skiing. He took it as a class in college (twice). He’s the only college graduate in America that didn’t have to take public speaking, but took skiing two semesters. Insert eye roll here. His advisor obviously liked him lots and got him out of public speaking.

Anyway, so over Christmas we went skiing as a family with his side. This was the second time that I had gone skiing with him. Can I be honest? I dreaded it. I didn’t enjoy the first time. I fell a lot. He got mad at me because I wasn’t an expert like him and slowed him down. He wanted to do the big slopes and I couldn’t master the baby slopes.

One of the biggest joys in my life is seeing my husband in pure, unfiltered joy. There’s a couple things that induce this: skiing, farming with new toys and sex.

I encourage you as we kick off this new decade to do the thing that you avoid doing because you don’t love it as much as your spouse. Surprise them! And have a good attitude about it. I still don’t love skiing like he does, but I improved. I didn’t fall nearly as much. I tackled the bigger side of the mountain (or the hills that Atchison offers). It’s so worth it to step outside of our comfort zones, to see them shine. For a reward, he took me to Taco Bell. (I’m a real high maintenance wife! $2.14 is what is takes for me to be insanely happy).

Sometimes it’s okay to not be good at something. Sometimes it’s okay to just be present. Sometimes it’s okay to just simply show up. Go do that thing with them that they love. You won’t regret it. Unless you break your ankle. Then you might. But try avoiding that.

If you enjoyed reading this, we would love it if you would hit the share button and introduce us to your friends. You all are the reason we get to do this and we’re so appreciative of that! Please help us continue serving people by sharing us with your family and friends! Leave us a comment and let us know how this has impacted your life. It’s the little things that make me so happy to continue doing this, such as a like, comment or share! Have you subscribed to the page so new blogs will arrive in your email automatically? Go to our homepage to do so! Please and thank you! 

~Matt & Kelsey

Have you ever made a decision that you want to do something, then you find out how much it costs and you’re like, “Never mind”?

Last week, we talked about how one of our marriage goals was a date night out once per month. To me, a date night out means din din outside of our house. Our goal is only once per month, but I hope yours is more often like once a week or twice a month. Whatever the case, saving money is always awesome.

Our top 3 ways to save money on date night out:

1. EXPECTATIONS are EVERYTHING: Matt and I go to the same place and order the same thing on date night and we LOVE it. It would drive many bizarre, but it works for us. We know that when we go on a date, our expectations are set in stone. We don’t have to talk through it each time. But if you like experimenting with new restaurants, talk through how much you’re looking at spending. Decide if it’s worth it to you to go to the fancy place, or if you’d prefer getting two or three date nights and going to a less fancy place. You guys decide together.
2. DON’T ORDER DRINKS: Refer back to way #1, but restaurants mark up drinks like crazy. Water is better for you anyway and how many of us actually get enough water? It’s an easy way to save $2-5 easily per person.
3. SPLIT A MEAL OR GET A TO-GO BOX RIGHT AWAY: Restaurant portions are huge. They just are. We split a meal and walk away satisfied. Or if we don’t want the same thing, we’ll both order a meal, but take half or more home to have for 2-3 more meals. A $12-15 meal doesn’t sound so terrible when you split it into three meals.

Ultimately, date nights are important. I hate when people say they can’t afford date night. Decide if date nights are a splurge for you. If they are, maybe none of these things make sense for you. If you’re trying to do it on a limited budget, think about doing these three things to extend that budget.

What do you do to save money on date nights? What are your favorite go to activities for date night?

If you enjoyed reading this, we would love it if you would hit the share button and introduce us to your friends. You all are the reason we get to do this and we’re so appreciative of that! Please help us continue serving people by sharing us with your family and friends! Leave us a comment and let us know how this has impacted your life. It’s the little things that make me so happy to continue doing this, such as a like, comment or share! Have you subscribed to the page so new blogs will arrive in your email automatically? Go to our homepage to do so! Please and thank you! 

~Matt & Kelsey

I’m not a huge resolutions person. I’m more of a goal person. I’ve decided to set three goals for our marriage for the year. I encourage you to set goals for your marriage this coming year. I believe that goals need to be measurable. How are you going to access whether you reached your goal or not?

If you’re new to goals, try something really simple. Set a goal and prove to yourself you can make it. Each goal, make a little more difficult. So many of us are so accustomed to failing ourselves. When life gets too busy, we’re the first one that gets knocked off our priority list. Make a simple goal and prove to yourself that you are important. Think of how much better you think, feel and act when you make yourself a priority. After you’ve accomplished that, move on to a bigger goal. Pretty soon you’ll be crushing anything you want to.

These are our marriage goals for 2020:

• Date night in once per week
• Date night out once per month
• One vacation

These three things are super attainable. Many of you are probably laughing at how ridiculously easy they are. But, that my friend, is the amazing part. Our lives are complicated and busy enough. I need to know as we go in to 2020 that I have 3 goals in my marriage. When, not if, we do these three things, we will have a stronger marriage. Period. Simple. That’s what I need in my life, but these three things will strengthen our marriage.

What are your 2020 marriage goals? Leave us a comment and let us know!

If you enjoyed reading this, we would love it if you would hit the share button and introduce us to your friends. You all are the reason we get to do this and we’re so appreciative of that! Please help us continue serving people by sharing us with your family and friends! Leave us a comment and let us know how this has impacted your life. It’s the little things that make me so happy to continue doing this, such as a like, comment or share! Have you subscribed to the page so new blogs will arrive in your email automatically? Go to our homepage to do so! Please and thank you! 

~Matt & Kelsey

My Forever and I aren’t hugely religious people. We rarely attend church. Not because we don’t believe, but because we simply don’t feel the most connection there. However, in the month of December, we are jumping on the bandwagon of reading through the book of Luke in the Bible.

Luke has 24 chapters. If you read one chapter per day, you will have read Jesus’ story by Christmas Eve. Are you going to jump on the wagon as well?

What are your December traditions? What are things that you do every single year? We don’t have very many and would love to hear all about yours!

If you enjoyed reading this, we would love it if you would hit the share button and introduce us to your friends. You all are the reason we get to do this and we’re so appreciative of that! Please help us continue serving people by sharing us with your family and friends! Leave us a comment and let us know how this has impacted your life. It’s the little things that make me so happy to continue doing this, such as a like, comment or share! Have you subscribed to the page so new blogs will arrive in your email automatically? Go to our homepage to do so! Please and thank you! 

~Matt & Kelsey

3 steps to a strong marriage

The next month is going to be filled to capacity with food, party, gifts and stress. So much stress. So many things to do and keep up with.

The first thing that is normally neglected is our marriages. This holiday season I strongly encourage you to focus on the things that matter and forget the things that don’t. Don’t wait until the start of the new year to focus on the important things in your life.

Here are 3 steps to keep your marriage strong through the holiday season:

1. Talk about expectations! Know how much alone time your spouse needs to recharge after all the gatherings. It’s important to know yourself and share that with your spouse. Know if you are the type of person that thrives on people and doesn’t need any recovery time or you’re the type of person that needs some time alone to recharge after meetings. Start talking about this now! Don’t wait until you’re depleted and grouchy to discuss.
2. Schedule! Get together now and go through your schedule. Before you have your meeting, make a list of everything that must be done and all events to attend. Then meet with your spouse and kids and decide what are non-negotiable. What are the events and to-do items that MUST be done. Decide what aren’t quite as important and let them go. Make sure the events are on everybody’s calendar from the beginning. From there you can do weekly check-ins and make sure everybody is still on board with everything. It’s okay to not attend every single event. It’s okay.
3. Start your own private tradition! This is my favorite. Make something special that you and your spouse can look forward to. How much stress would be relieved if you knew something special was coming. It doesn’t have to be a big deal. Just something simple. During this season you don’t need something else to stress you out. You need something to take the stress away. Make it a yearly tradition. Some ideas: a specific movie you watch cuddled up with your spouse on a specific night each year, buy a new ornament together, bake together, exchange a book or buy the other a new sexy outfit to enjoy on Christmas night or New Years Eve.

What do you do during this time of year to ensure that your marriage stays on track and doesn’t get pushed to the back burner?

If you enjoyed reading this, we would love it if you would hit the share button and introduce us to your friends. You all are the reason we get to do this and we’re so appreciative of that! Please help us continue serving people by sharing us with your family and friends! Leave us a comment and let us know how this has impacted your life. It’s the little things that make me so happy to continue doing this, such as a like, comment or share! Have you subscribed to the page so new blogs will arrive in your email automatically? Go to our homepage to do so! Please and thank you! 

~Matt & Kelsey

Do you ever get so busy, you look up and two weeks have gone by and you’re like, “Whoa! Where did those two weeks go?”

Friends everything happened at once, as per usual. You know what I’m talking about right? You’re going along fine then all of a sudden, BAM! and you enter full on survival mode.

Nasty weather hit so the cattle needed more care and a watchful eye to make sure sick ones didn’t pop up. We still are dragging on with harvest, but have hit wet stuff so can’t get it. We hit the drilling hard to get the soil’s winter coat on before it gets too nasty. (We drill cover crops after harvesting our cash crops-corn and soybeans).

With that being said, I’m using that for the excuse of where I’ve been. I’ve missed writing and hanging out with you. I focused on my freelance clients and made sure to get my pieces to them and ran out of time to get to my own blog and I apologize.

Real quick on the marriage topic this week before signing off:

Matt and I did something completely new this weekend. I’m going to be really cryptic and not say what it was because we’re not sharing yet, but it was good for our marriage.

Wherever we go with it or whatever our decision, our marriage is positively impacted from it. Something that I literally nagged and guilted Matt in to agreeing to do with me, brought out a whole side of him I’ve never seen. I couldn’t love him more than I do at this moment. He’s an amazing man that means the world to me.

Stepping WAY outside our comfort zone and routine reminded me of the amazing man he is. Dear friend, we get so wrapped into routine and schedules and life commitments, we forget to look at the person we’re walking the road with. We forget to tell them how much we love them, how much they mean to us, how amazing they really are.

Comment below with the thing that you love most about your partner in life!

If you enjoyed reading this, we would love it if you would hit the share button and introduce us to your friends. You all are the reason we get to do this and we’re so appreciative of that! Please help us continue serving people by sharing us with your family and friends! Leave us a comment and let us know how this has impacted your life. It’s the little things that make me so happy to continue doing this, such as a like, comment or share! Have you subscribed to the page so new blogs will arrive in your email automatically? Go to our homepage to do so! Please and thank you! 

There’s a lot of you that show up every week and read the #marriagemondaytpstyle post. For that I’m grateful. I’m humbled that you take time out of your life to support us. While I would love to say that I have marriage figured out, our marriage is great and all things are rainbow and sunshine, I simply can’t.

Year 6 of our marriage was the hardest so far. As we start on year 7, I would be lying to you if I didn’t say I wasn’t nervous. Year 7 is scientifically the hardest year of marriage. I’m confident that we’ll make it to year 8. I’m not confident that we’ll be happy then.

Can I be honest with you? Marriage is hard. Marriage to My Forever is hard. I’m an open book friends. I have given Matt a one page list of what I need on a daily, weekly and monthly basis. Literally wrote out in black and white. No guessing, no wondering. Simply follow the list to a happy wife. We’re not talking huge chunks of time commitment on this list either. It’s the little things like putting dishes in the dishwasher, socks in the laundry basket, initiating sex, and kissing me and telling me he loves me morning and night, etc.

When he doesn’t do these things on a regular and continuous basis after I ask him to, it feels like he doesn’t care. I’m a rational enough human being that I understand stress and busy-ness. I understand that everything on the list doesn’t get accomplished every single time. I get it. However, they need to happen on a regular basis, otherwise I get upset.

To him, this list is a suggestion. An idea of what to do to get brownie points. To me, this list is the fuel that fills my love tank. It’s the things that make me ignore the fact that he called me stupid while unloading a fuel tank incorrectly. It’s the things that get me through another date-less week. It’s the things that propel me through the long days.

Friends, I’m coming to you this week and asking you for advice. I’m asking what we can do to not just make it to year 8 and on, but how we can thrive. What techniques have you found to fight effectively? What tips do you use to make your marriage strong? Give us all the answers. Let us copy off your test. Teach us the steps to be even happier in our marriage than we are. Tell me there are happy couples out there. Tell me all couples aren’t just enduring and dealing, but thriving and thrilled. I’m asking for all the advice. What do you have for us?!

If you enjoyed reading this, we would love it if you would hit the share button and introduce us to your friends. You all are the reason we get to do this and we’re so appreciative of that! Please help us continue serving people by sharing us with your family and friends! Leave us a comment and let us know how this has impacted your life. It’s the little things that make me so happy to continue doing this, such as a like, comment or share! Have you subscribed to the page so new blogs will arrive in your email automatically? Go to our homepage to do so! Please and thank you! 

We celebrated our 6th anniversary over the weekend. As we venture into year 7, I’m resolved to try harder at the little things. The things that don’t seem like they don’t matter, but they add up.

Our intention for year 7 of our marriage:

Laugh. Play. Work. Grow. Love. 

That’s it. If only it was that simple.

I was doing some research on setting intentions in your marriage and came across a lot, but the little things are what I want to focus on. The simplest, most doable thing I ran across was giving your spouse a compliment everyday.

I have set a reminder on my phone to give My Forever a compliment. Isn’t it sad that I have to set a reminder to give him compliments. The people we love are usually the last to hear the good things. I’m resolving in year 7 that Matt will hear at least one positive thing about himself every. single. day. from me.

Even if your next anniversary is 7 months away, I challenge you to join me in this. Start today. Who’s in? Comment below with the first compliment you gave your spouse! Let’s see how much difference one positive comment a day can make in our Forevers lives.

If you enjoyed reading this, we would love it if you would hit the share button and introduce us to your friends. You all are the reason we get to do this and we’re so appreciative of that! Please help us continue serving people by sharing us with your family and friends! Leave us a comment and let us know how this has impacted your life. It’s the little things that make me so happy to continue doing this, such as a like, comment or share! Have you subscribed to the page so new blogs will arrive in your email automatically? Go to our homepage to do so! Please and thank you!